he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
