that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
