I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
