Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
