you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
