Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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