oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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