please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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