When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
