Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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