the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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