barbara walters just said penis...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize