The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
