Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
