Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sext me about skeletons
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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