Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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