I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
