Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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