My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
