im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
