Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
