Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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