her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you mean i was at the winter classic?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
