Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
