I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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