I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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