You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
