Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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