maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
