Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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