Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
