do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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