If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize