Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Pants are for mortals
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
