Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
