good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
