then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
