I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
