Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
