I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize