Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
