Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
