I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
