i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
