Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
