you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
