redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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