one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
