why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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