"it" just moved
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
