So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize