she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
