I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
