Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
birth control should be required to get into college
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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