actually, I'm a sock model
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
