My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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