U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
this boner is exhausting
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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