Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
