these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize