Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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