this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize