4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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